It’s been months since I’ve written on this blog. There’s probably lots of reasons for that…it’s been a stressful past 6 months or so. I’m going to be transitioning out of my current job in a couple months, and we don’t know what’s next for me. Turns out Caleb being 3 is not super easy. […]
Remembering Micah and Judah: Has it Really Been 3 Years?
I received a text this morning from someone I went to seminary with. We were acquaintances at the time. But October 25, 2010 bound us together. Her father died in a tragic car accident that day. And Micah and Judah were born and died on the day as well. It’s hard to believe it’s been […]
A Fatherhood of Joy & Grief: My First Podcast
A few weeks ago, I agreed to do my very first interview for Sherry Muterspaugh Walling and her Parenting Reimagined podcast. I’ve often turned down requests for podcast interviews because I don’t think on my feet as well as sitting down to write a blog post. However, I did want to share Micah, Judah and Caleb’s story […]
2 Years, a Box of Memories and the Importance of Remembering
Two years. Some days it feels like it was just yesterday. Other days it feels like it was a lifetime ago. Some days the grief feels like it’s passing. Other days it feels like too much to even think about, because the grief is overwhelming. Two years. Last night, Sarah and I went through Micah […]
Forgetting the Boys
I’m at a retreat for pastors this week, and as we all gathered together, we were supposed to answer the question of how we got to be attending this specific retreat for Presbyterian ministers in Oregon. Basically, we were to tell our call stories and share about our lives. I was the second one to […]
Where is God in the Midst of Grief, Loss and Illness?
This is cross-posted from a post I wrote for Jake Bouma’s Cancer & Theology series. You can see the original version here. We were asked to reflect on the issue of cancer & theology. There is some profanity below, which I thought about taking out, but feel like it’s appropriate for the subject matter. Jake […]
Micah, Judah & Caleb: Living with Joy & Grief
A few days ago, Caleb and I were having one of our moments. We were hanging out on the changing table (something that he really enjoys to do). He was staring out the window. I was gazing at him. And I probably even kissed him a few times. I kept looking at him. Eventually his […]
The Sound of Sheer Silence
Yesterday I preached a sermon at my church in which I talked about losing Micah & Judah, and the silence that I felt from God during that time. I don’t know if it will be encouraging to anyone else who may be going through the loss of children, but I wanted to share it here […]
Sharing in the Grief of Others
As I’ve mentioned on this blog before, my desire to write about grief and my own personal journey was really a selfish desire. I didn’t start writing thinking that my story, my experiences or my anger would be helpful to anyone else – it was simply something I needed to do. However, my writings on […]
A Daily Reminder
Everyone has their routines in the morning. Mine usually consists of: wake up, grab iPhone and check email, Twitter, Facebook and blogs (in that order), shower, get dressed…etc. And right in the middle of all that, when I’m debating which t-shirt to throw on, I see them. Our two infant urns. Micah and Judah. A […]