It’s been months since I’ve written on this blog. There’s probably lots of reasons for that…it’s been a stressful past 6 months or so. I’m going to be transitioning out of my current job in a couple months, and we don’t know what’s next for me. Turns out Caleb being 3 is not super easy. […]
Born in Silence: Creating Space for Healing
A friend sent this to me a few weeks ago, and as I watched it, and as I reflected on my own journey through infant loss, I remembered the first few weeks after we lost the boys, when I was just doing a ton of reading. For some reason, it was both cathartic and therapeutic […]
A Fatherhood of Joy & Grief: My First Podcast
A few weeks ago, I agreed to do my very first interview for Sherry Muterspaugh Walling and her Parenting Reimagined podcast. I’ve often turned down requests for podcast interviews because I don’t think on my feet as well as sitting down to write a blog post. However, I did want to share Micah, Judah and Caleb’s story […]
2 Years, a Box of Memories and the Importance of Remembering
Two years. Some days it feels like it was just yesterday. Other days it feels like it was a lifetime ago. Some days the grief feels like it’s passing. Other days it feels like too much to even think about, because the grief is overwhelming. Two years. Last night, Sarah and I went through Micah […]
Forgetting the Boys
I’m at a retreat for pastors this week, and as we all gathered together, we were supposed to answer the question of how we got to be attending this specific retreat for Presbyterian ministers in Oregon. Basically, we were to tell our call stories and share about our lives. I was the second one to […]
What You Should NEVER Say to Grieving Parents
I want to recommend to you a wonderful post by Ashley-Anne Masters called “Diary of a Death Diva.” This blog has been much more focused on the joys/frustrations of parenting and super-cute photos of Caleb recently, but there will always be the element of grief and loss, as losing Micah and Judah is a huge part […]
Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back
One of my hopes with Dazed Dad is writing about grief and loss from a father’s perspective. As anyone who has gone looking for it, you’ll know there really isn’t much available and out there. Kelly Farley is trying to help with that by publishing a book called Grieving Dads. The video above is for […]
Where is God in the Midst of Grief, Loss and Illness?
This is cross-posted from a post I wrote for Jake Bouma’s Cancer & Theology series. You can see the original version here. We were asked to reflect on the issue of cancer & theology. There is some profanity below, which I thought about taking out, but feel like it’s appropriate for the subject matter. Jake […]
Micah, Judah & Caleb: Living with Joy & Grief
A few days ago, Caleb and I were having one of our moments. We were hanging out on the changing table (something that he really enjoys to do). He was staring out the window. I was gazing at him. And I probably even kissed him a few times. I kept looking at him. Eventually his […]
The Sound of Sheer Silence
Yesterday I preached a sermon at my church in which I talked about losing Micah & Judah, and the silence that I felt from God during that time. I don’t know if it will be encouraging to anyone else who may be going through the loss of children, but I wanted to share it here […]