Everyone has their routines in the morning. Mine usually consists of: wake up, grab iPhone and check email, Twitter, Facebook and blogs (in that order), shower, get dressed…etc. And right in the middle of all that, when I’m debating which t-shirt to throw on, I see them. Our two infant urns. Micah and Judah. A daily reminder.
A daily reminder of what could have been.
A daily reminder that sometimes life sucks.
A daily reminder of the way-too-short lives of our boys.
A daily reminder that I am a father of two boys, none living.
A daily reminder of the tiny, precious bodies of Micah and Judah.
A daily reminder that I was able to hold my sons, to feel their tiny little bodies pulse as they struggled to breathe for the hour that they lived.
Sometimes it feels like I can go throughout my day thinking that life is pretty normal, that things are going pretty good and then fall asleep at night. But each morning I see those two urns. Each morning I am reminded. Sometimes it’s just a quick reminder, a brief moment to remember Micah and Judah. Other mornings, it makes me pause a little longer. To say a quick prayer. To sit with that love that is in my heart for children that were born and then lost too soon.
Thank you for sharing this…
We never had an urn for our son Seth because Kristin never delivered him – he died at 20 weeks in the womb and Kristin’s health was in danger. But, we did plant a yellow rose to commemorate his meaning. To this day, I can’t see a yellow rose (or flower, for that matter) and not think of him. While we have 3 girls now, we will never forget how our son changed our lives. Not all in a bad way. No way around it – it SUCKS! But in other ways, it brought us closer together. Based on your posts here and at Pomomusings, I would say it has done that for you and Sarah, too.
I’m so sorry, Adam. I hate you guys have had to experience this, and I continue to pray that somehow, God can allow you to use this experience to help someone someday.
You never forget – and you shouldn’t. Praying for you guys today.
Beautiful! Micah and Judah have a one loving Dad.