In the immediate weeks following Micah and Judah’s death, we felt an amazing amount of care and support from people both online and offline. People sent us flowers and chocolates, folks from our church brought meals to us every night for a week, and cards kept pouring in. The amount of Facebook Wall Posts and […]
Integrating the Grief
Another book I re-read recently was Jerry Sittser’s “A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss.” Jerry is a religion professor at Whitworth College and was my professor, mentor and friend during my four years at Whitworth. While I haven’t stayed in touch with many Whitworth folk, Jerry is the one who I always […]
Grief is Like a Long Valley…
One of the other books I read while we were away that first weekend was “A Grief Observed” by C.S. Lewis. I was a huge C.S. Lewis fan growing up, and while at college, but haven’t really read much of his stuff since. I found some aspects of “A Grief Observed” really interesting and helpful […]
“It’s hard…but not devastating.”
It’s amazing how a well-intended comment from one person can throw your entire day off. Two days ago I ran into a person in our community who I really like (no one connected to our church community, just someone I’ve gotten to know over the past couple years). This person is a Christian and we’ve […]
Standing in the Wake of Devastation
The time that we spent in the hospital 3 weeks ago seems like a blur. After we had received the news from the doctor that the pregnancy had to be ended, they started Sarah on the drugs that would induce labor. They also gave her something to help her sleep. We were in Walnut Creek, […]
The Flowers are Dying
The flowers are dying in our home. In the days immediately following Micah and Judah’s death, our home was filled with beautiful flowers (photos here). Friends and family shared their care and concern through flowers, and amidst our pain and sadness, they helped to bring color to our house, and remind us of all of […]
Praying is Hard
Sunday was the first time back in church since we lost Judah and Micah. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect – but it was hard. I was in worship for the morning service, assisted with serving communion, and then was also in a short chapel service in the evening. I found it very hard […]
The Neverness of Loss
Nicholas Wolterstorff writes in his book “Lament for a Son” that “it’s the neverness that is so painful…all the rest of our lives we must live without him.” Tomorrow will mark the two week mark since we went to the hospital for the day that our lives were changed forever. I don’t remember much from […]
Little One, Born to Bring us Such Love
Our good friend Adam sent us a nice email the other day, and included the words to the hymn “Little One, Born to Bring us Such Love.” As he said in his email, “it seems, sadly, amazingly fitting” for our loss of Micah and Judah. I’m fairly certain I’ve never heard the tune to this […]
The Stages of Grief
Grieving sucks. I may need to brush up on all of the stages of grief, but I feel like I’m going through all of them, all the time. Monday was just a shitty day all around. Tuesday we came home, and although we kept ourselves busy, there was still plenty of crying. But yesterday…I didn’t […]