Sunday was the first time back in church since we lost Judah and Micah. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect – but it was hard. I was in worship for the morning service, assisted with serving communion, and then was also in a short chapel service in the evening. I found it very hard […]
The Neverness of Loss
Nicholas Wolterstorff writes in his book “Lament for a Son” that “it’s the neverness that is so painful…all the rest of our lives we must live without him.” Tomorrow will mark the two week mark since we went to the hospital for the day that our lives were changed forever. I don’t remember much from […]
Little One, Born to Bring us Such Love
Our good friend Adam sent us a nice email the other day, and included the words to the hymn “Little One, Born to Bring us Such Love.” As he said in his email, “it seems, sadly, amazingly fitting” for our loss of Micah and Judah. I’m fairly certain I’ve never heard the tune to this […]
Grace Bomb: Online Prayers
The prayers and support for us continue, both in more traditional forms of cards, notes, flowers and meals prepared – and we are continually grateful for those things. And in some more non-traditional forms, like grace bombs. An online friend I’ve never met, known by many as Pastor Nar, set up a grace bomb for […]
Remembering Micah and Judah…
Being a pastor, it’s not often that I find myself free on a Sunday morning – but Sarah and I didn’t make it to church today. We were finishing up a really great weekend up in Murphys, CA. It was important for us to get away – to spend some time focusing on ourselves and […]
Yelling at God
Yesterday I took a ride on my scooter out to Morgan Territory – an area that has a lot of hikes just outside of Livermore. It was a beautiful day out and I thought that while Sarah got a massage, I would take a ride. As I got out into the country, I found myself […]
The Stages of Grief
Grieving sucks. I may need to brush up on all of the stages of grief, but I feel like I’m going through all of them, all the time. Monday was just a shitty day all around. Tuesday we came home, and although we kept ourselves busy, there was still plenty of crying. But yesterday…I didn’t […]
October 25: The Day I Will Never Forget
I’m not really sure how to blog about something as tragic as Sarah and I have experienced in the past few days – yet, I feel the need to begin to share our experience. Perhaps it’s part of my grieving process. Perhaps it’s so that I can hear from others who may have gone through […]