A few nights ago I had a dream. It was the first “baby dream” I’ve had, and…well, it was a little scary. In the dream, the baby was crying, Sarah was saying, “It’s YOUR turn. GO get him” and I was walking over to the crib, picking him up, and just holding him, staring into his cute eyes and listening to him stop his crying. I thought I was pretty damn good.
And then there was poop.
So much poop. Neverending amounts of poop coming from his diaper. I yelled at Sarah. She yelled at me for not putting the diaper on the right way. And then, while trying to race the baby into the bathroom so I could at least hold him over the toilet…he started puking on me.
And then I woke up.
And thought to myself: “Wow…now THIS is going to be awesome!”
Of course, I posted something about it on Facebook, and everyone was super encouraging. No really, they were. Folks said things like:
- “That will be your reality…”
- “I had that dream too! Oh yeah, that actually happens to me a few times a week.”
- “Ha ha ha! Get ready for the real world that is coming!”
Even my mom chimed in with this: “Let’s hope my grandson is like his father…I only remember one episode like that…although it was on an airplane.”
Well – you know what I say to all of you?
Bring. It. On.
I’ll show you who can clean up poop. I’ll show you who isn’t afraid of a little baby spit-up. I’ll show you! (knocking on wood as we speak).
But really, I’m ready, as much as I can be. I’m ready for all the shit (literally and figuratively), the long nights, the sleep deprivation and everything else that I have no idea about right now. Will I probably whine about it while it’s happening? Yes. Will I probably tweet at 3am while I’m trying to get my son to go back to sleep while reading him Go the F**k to Sleep? Yes. Will it seem like it’s just too much when I’m in the middle of it? Sure.
But bring it. I’m ready. I’m ready to keep being a dad.
adam mclane says
I’m glad you’re ready. Because this baby is going to bring it. JT just had 5 days of the squirts. I had no idea a baby could generate that much poo. Impressive, really.
Sharmyn says
Fear not the poo of tomorrow; today has enough poo of its own.
jeanna says
Yup, once you have had a loss like both of ours (ours: identical twin boys born at 19 weeks) you don’t really care about poop, spit up or lack of sleep. You sound like my husband “I am ready to be DOing the Dad thing.” Well I will tell you something, YOU will treasure it more because of your first born sons, or I should say at least my husband does. It is interesting how we have watched friends/family argue over who’s turn it is to change the diaper or who “has to” hold the baby. I find that my husband and I jokingly banter who “gets to” take him b/c we both want him all the time!
Anyway, a friend has followed your blog for a while and she sent me your link, so I am a new follower and this is my first hello and HUGE congrats!!! So happy for you and your wife!
Liz says
I have two sons – 24 and 18. I wouldn’t give up any of the poo, sleepless nights (btw … sleepless nights don’t end just because they start sleeping through the night – you will have sleepless nights over many other things throughout their life), terrible twos, homework, disagreements, trying teen times or anything at all. I treasure every moment. Being a parent is a unique and wonderful experience – there is nothing else like it and I am still enjoying my sons. I’m so excited for you guys and what you have to look forward to!!