So, things have been a little quiet around here on DazedDad.com. It’s funny what emotions can do and how they can make you feel. Part of me feels like I just needed some time away from writing about grief, death and our loss. But another part of me feels guilty that I haven’t been writing here as much as I think I should, for some reason. It’s like if I’m not blogging about it, then for some reason I think that I’m done processing my grief…which I know is not true at all.
I still get caught off guard sometimes and can cry. Even though Sarah gave me fair warning, there was a scene in an episode of Parenthood a few weeks ago…yup. Just started to cry. And there are other times when I may see a photo on Facebook of a friend, or hear about someone having a baby or getting ready to…and the emotions come back.
Just as grief goes through different stages and phases, etc., so my own way of dealing with it and processing it will change as well. Immediately following Micah and Judah’s deaths, it felt like the only thing I could do was be with Sarah, cry, read and blog like crazy. Now…there are still questions I have and things to process…but they haven’t been finding their way to the blog for some reason. We’ll see. I plan on doing some reading in the near future, including Elise Erikson Barrett’s “What Was Lost: A Christian Journey Through Miscarriage” and some other books.
I do want to thank all of you who have read these posts, contributed comments and for whatever reason, decided to join me on this journey of grief.