Sunday was the first time back in church since we lost Judah and Micah. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect – but it was hard. I was in worship for the morning service, assisted with serving communion, and then was also in a short chapel service in the evening.
I found it very hard to pray, to sing hymns…basically, I found it very challenging to just be present and worship.
God and I shared some words the week that they died. Actually, it was more me yelling at God and then waiting for something…anything from God. And nothing really came. So, it’s not easy to want to be in prayer with God right now. It’s helpful to know that there are others who are lifting us up in prayer and praying for us during this time, because I’m finding it too difficult. I’m hoping that the next few weeks will be easier, because I’m supposed to be preaching on November 28th. I think that’s going to be hard.