Alright everyone – time for another Dazed Dad Poll. Since we have such an amazing community of folks at our church – and since I’m a youth/young adults pastor, as soon as we told people we were pregnant, we got a TON of people letting us know they were ready to babysit anytime. Now, some of them were folks who we wouldn’t even think twice about letting watch our twins while we go out for an evening together. And then there were the two 8th grade boys who got very mischievous looks on their faces and said, “Oh boy…..oh boy….yes, we are going to babysit your twins…we have so many things to teach them……..!”
Nice guys – but….just plain scary.
I’m sure there are many different opinions about this – but I’d be interested in hearing what your thoughts are about appropriate age of babysitters for newborns. We have lots of middle and high school girls who have babysat before and are eager to get their time with the Cleaker Twins. I’m sure it totally depends on who the person is, what their experience level is, how trustworthy they are, etc. Maybe there’s even certain “guilds” or babysitter clubs that one can belong to, etc., so I’m very ignorant when it comes to these things.
All I know is that when I was a kid, we had a series of really bad babysitters that we found somehow. One girl made lots of long-distance phone calls from our home phone, and another girl saw a dead bird on the side of the road on her way to our house, and she brought it inside and tried to “nurse” it back to life instead of watching us. So, I think we’re trying to avoid those types of situations.
Please vote on the poll below – although I’m guessing there may be a lot of “other” answers on this one. Thanks everyone!
For newborn twins? I voted other. For the first six months, I would be hesitant to leave them with anyone, but only if it was a paid adult professional sitter (nanny) or adult family (grandparents, aunt). Sometime between 6-12 months, I might be ok with a teenager, but they would need to have great references and a driver’s license (so probably no younger than a senior in high school).
Part of the reason we are selective is financial (can’t afford a lot of sitters). But the other reason is that babysitting (done right) is hard work…a lot of variables and I have watched young teens flake on my kids when they think I’m not watching (church setting, etc…) Nothing against the teens, but as a youth pastor you know the developmental limits of teens quite well I’m sure. 🙂
I voted other and in agreement with what Jess said. IMO you even need to be careful with some adult relatives. I was in a store the other day and an older couple had their newborn grandchild with them. They were obviously very excited and loved the baby tremendously but when the baby began to cry the grandfather picked him up from the carrier without holding the baby’s head and the baby’s head flopped backwards. The grandmother said something and it seemed everything turned out okay but it scared me to death. In some ways newborns are resilient but in many ways they are very fragile. AND … you also have to be careful during the toddler years – once they are walking they need a lot of very diligent watching – you can’t afford to have someone sit with toddlers who are likely to get so caught up in a tv program or a phone call and forget to keep an eye on what’s happening.
I also voted *other* for the same reasons as Jess and Liz, which I will endorse — rather than repeat…
We’ll only leave N. with our post-partum doula, her grandparents (C’s parents. But, not my mom. Ever.), our housemate Michelle (she’s like family) – especially for the first 6 months or so. I only know one professional sitter and she’s had more training than me: baby cpr, first aid, (she’s actually a First Responder) etc.. from Red Cross. (Hmmm….. maybe I should take a class or three). Plus, I’m finding, for the first three months the feeding schedule is so demanding that it takes a lot of pumping just to prepare for being away… almost more work!
One other thoguht on sitters…
I know that being a youth pator might feel like having a built in supply of babysitters, but it might not be the best idea to let youth group kids babysit because of the dual-relationship it creates. You know your youth group kids and should trust your gut on what is right to do….but I want to suggest that the dual relationshp makes things complicated for you, and for the teen. Just my 2 cents.