This morning while Sarah and I were at our weekly “Day Off Breakfast” (otherwise known as “It’s frickin’ 7am and I’m hungry so get your butt out of bed so we can go get some food!”), we were talking about baby stuff: names, showers, registering for stuff, etc. And we were surprised to realize that…huh, we had some questions.
Odd.
I mean, it’s only that we’re doing this for the first time. So, here’s your chance to help!
Our due date is March 20th, but we’re very aware that the twins could come even as much as a month early. So we have already had one request to throw us a shower (hurray!), and I think that one might be early January. But I’m guessing we might need to do another one sometime before the end of the year…so we are in the mode of thinking about registering, where to register, how to register, etc.
We have some books to read (specifically about twins and registering for twins) but we always love comments and feedback from friends and real people instead of just trying to think through suggestions made to us by a book. So, here are some questions that we could use some help with (if you have other advice or suggestions that I didn’t ask for – please share it anyway):
- Where is the best place to register?
- If you register at one place (Babies R Us for example) but you still want some separate items from specific stores (boutique store clothing, a special stroller, etc), can you register for other things like that? And then just let people know?
- With twins – do you really need two of everything? We’re guessing not – but what are those items that we would ABSOLUTELY want two of?
- What are some things that stores/books/etc make you think that you most definitely need – but…you really don’t?
- What is the one item that you couldn’t have made it through the 6 months without having?
- What is something you bought that you never ended up using?
- Do you have any other tips about how to register for baby showers?
- Any advice about baby showers in general?
In the week we’ve been home with Elizabeth, socks have been a huge thing. Warm SMALL socks. Especially with twins since they run a bit smaller… Socks that are small enough to stay on their feet. Also Target is a great place to register since they are all over and prices are reasonable. Another thing was plain white long sleeve onesies (newborn 5lbs-8lbs). I LOVE them! Onesie – Gerber brand. ALSO… Big surprise, the Diaper Genie II is AMAZING… No smell and you don’t have to worry about Sadie getting to them. Good luck and have FUN!
ok. i’m picking up the shower question. i hate baby showers. hate them. (go ahead and be surprised)
i like tea. i like punch. i like finger sandwiches. i like cake. i like people (sometimes). i like baby things. i hate showers. they make me contemplate all the ways i can kill myself with a diaper pin. i don’t need to coo over every green onesy that comes out of a bag with a giraffe on it. i don’t need to giggle over “butt paste”. i don’t need to engage in a lengthy conversation of the merits of glass vs. plastic bottles. i certainly don’t need to pass around diapers with melted candy in them and decide what it smells like. i love you, i love your baby(ies), i don’t need this nonsense.
ifeelmuchbetterthankyou
So Libby – one thing that we appreciate here at DazedDad.com is honest feedback and we love people to openly speak their minds.
So, please feel free to REALLY let us know what you’re thinking. I think you may have been holding back a bit in your comment. Feel free to just be real with us. Haha.
sarah will appreciate it. she’s in my corner on this one, i’m pretty sure. and don’t even get me started on bridal showers…
Ha – I am guessing you’re right. But do you have another option for young couples who haven’t won the lottery yet to be able to get what they need?
i think people should buy you stuff. i’m planning on doing my part. and i think there should be a party. it’s the hokey, drape everything in ducks and frogs and pacifiers, play ridiculous games, pretend to think you’ve never seen anything so clever as a dishwasher insert for bottles (which are handy, but not rocket science) nonsense that bugs me.
a co-ed shower, with presents and food and whatnot and just chatting would suffice. (in my opinion, which i’ve obviously been reluctant to share on this particular topic) don’t torture your friends. don’t torture sarah.
My son is about 15 months old, so it has been a little while since I have gone through the registering, but I still remember it like it was yesterday.
First of all – don’t try to do all your registering in one day AND bring snacks for your wife – you’ll get huge brownie points.
Secondly – I learned this the hard way – pick whatever store in your area has the best selection and don’t register for stuff that you can only get online – as most folks won’t order something they can’t see. We had so many cute things that were online only, and we didn’t get them.
Third – If there are other cute things that you want that aren’t at BRU or Target, check Diapers.com or Amazon, because they carry so much of everything. Diapers.com will let you register – but a word of caution – see my secondly. We registered at BRU and at a local baby store and just let folks know. It worked great.
Fourth – Styles of things often change around the new year, so be warned if you register for something that is going to be a discontinued pattern.
Fifth – you definitely need two of – crib and car seats at the beginning, I think everything else can be used twice. You could put one baby in a swing while one is in a bouncy seat, one on tummy time while the other swings, etc. Items I couldn’t live without early on were the bouncy seat (my litttle HATED the swing), and the Fisher Price Rainforest gym. Once he could hold his head up, we bought the Bumbo. I had been SO against getting another seat for James, but he loved it. You will want two of those.
Good luck!
And, Libby is right. Unless they are your own baby shower, they kind of bite. (Sorry to say!)
One of the great things about registering at one place is that if you feel you don’t want it or need it, you can go back for store credit and get what you need. So, I tended to over-register for that very reason, otherwise I would end up with a lot of blankets. I registered at a common place with an online service like Target so that families from far away could buy something and a more boutique place like Lullaby Lane in San Bruno for some of the cutesy items.
I tended to stay away from gizmos like bottle warmer, diaper genies, and diaper wipes warmer. Places I believe to spend the money is a good stroller (matching your lifestyle and needs), car seats, a good video portable monitor, and some type of baby carrier. InHo liked baby bjorn. I liked the sling and ergo pack.
Purchase tons of cheap cloth diapers or burp cloths for spit ups, spills, etc. Buy Spray and Wash or Oxyclean or some stain remover. Trust me you will use it. Loved boppy pillow and bumbo seats.
In the area of “all things boobs”:
Bottles and Sippies: Avent and Dr. Brown
Sore nipples from breastfeeding: Lansinoh
Breast pump: Medela (manual breast pumps don’t work)
Nursing pads: Lilypads
Some of these things you can hopefully get from friends who are done having kids. Hope this is helpful.
Theresa.
Totally second that “all things boobs”!
Also, I wish we had done the Ergobaby. My little one is still officially small enough to use one, but it seems silly to buy now.
A few random thoughts…
1. We registered mostly at Target because there wasn’t a babies r us nearby. I think its a wash between the two.
2. Do you need two of absolutely everything? From our twins experience…I would say no, but most everyday things plan on needing double. Double the number of burp clothes, bottles, car seats, etc. Things like a bath basin, diaper genie, or similar you definitely do not need two of. We found that most things that we used everyday and lots of the time each day it was good to have as many as possible.
Echoing what Melissa posted, simple white onesies are great instead of lots of really cute things that get more complicated to wash. With plain white things, you can just pop them in the wash with some serious cleaner and you’re in good shape.
Our focus the first few months was on the sanity side of things so the simpler the better. Hence using Amazon for buying formula, diapers, wipes, etc.
Definitely register for a double stroller and if you can get one that works with your carseats, it is a great sanity saver. We loved having the ones that our bucket car seats just clicked into so there was not nearly as much taking the kids out of the carseats and moving them into a stroller, especially as much as they sleep early on.
Finally, these were a wonderful thing for keeping kids warm when they went to sleep. Our kids slept in them for the first year or so.
https://www.halosleep.com/
I am pretty sure you are already a subscriber, but a netflix account was a sanity saver for Mom & Dad.
A few random thoughts…
Places like Target and BRU are great because they are everywhere. If family is scattered across the country do an Amazon Registry (or better yet a Wishlist for the babies – since you can add more stuff to it). With the Universal Wishlist option, you can add boutique items or any alt. parenting stuff you might want (sling, cloth diapers, wooden toys) that you’d never find in the big box stores.
Stuff like swings, bouncy seats, exersaucers are fantastic all for like 2 months. Try to borrow from friends, get in a coop that trades them around, or at least get them on Craigslist. They are a godsend for a short while, but then they just take up massive amounts of space.
If you guys are breastfeeding, register or spring for a good breastpump (Craigslist is good here too).
Bottles – Born Free bpa free ones were amazing. they don’t drip and withstand anything.
Pacifiers – forget the cutsy things and get all Soothies (its what they give you in the hospital anyway)
tons of burp clothes, or expect that your entire wardrobe will be destroyed within a year.
Yes – the stroller which uses the carseat is a MUST. Being able to carry a sleeping baby from the car without having to unstrap them is a lifesaver.
soft, comfy clothes for the baby. it will save your sanity to not have to try to put cute but pointless jeans or button down clothing on a baby that will irritate them (make them cry)
and go ahead and register for for larger clothing, solid food stuff (baby food cubes are amazing if you plan on making your own baby food – a huge money saver), highchair, toys – cuz you only use the baby stuff for a few months and then your left getting everything else yourselves.
okay, now I’m rambling…
My kids are in elementary and middle school, but I will admit that I got LOTS of bottles that I never used. The thing is, I breastfed and so there was only one kind of bottle my baby would even take (and that was rarely). It was the Avent brand which is supposed to be like a breast — I don’t know how they figure all of that out. the thing was, we had all kinds of other bottles that were cute but just not necessary. With twins I’m guessing you’ll need bottles a lot more, especially if you have a breast pump. (again, research the best breast pump!) But be specific about the kind of bottles you need.
I dont know what Sarah’s plans are about being home, or nursing…but IF you plan on nursing, I’d buy the very best breast pump you can afford, or even better, rent a good hospital grade one. The ones they sell at Babies R Us are generally not very good (some moms call them “nipple rippers”). A good breast pump means you can pump (and freeze) milk so that someone else can give babies a bottle too – good for them, good for babies, good for you.
I thought of a couple more things specifically for Sarah as her belly grows.
Towards the end of my pregnancy, I found belly bands helpful. It is an elastic band that goes under the belly and holds your heavy belly up. Takes the pressure off the back.
Also, my pants kept falling down . . . I got belly ups. They are suspenders that clip to the bra and the rim of the pants. http://www.lunalullabyproducts.com/belly_ups.aspx
And lastly, nursing blanket or cover for when you are nursing in public, (If she plans on nursing.)
Average gestation for twins is 35.5 weeks. Just keep that in mind! 🙂
also just wanted to say that twins often share a crib in the beginning. It’s soothing for them to be together, and there’s a lot of research about it being beneficial. So you don’t necessarily need two at first! We only have one.
I am considering car seats, a bathtub, diapers, clothes and a double stroller (and a pump, which I’m renting from the hospital) to be the only MUST HAVES. I have a travel swing, a bouncy seat, and another rocking/bouncing-type chair. I got the wedges (“sleep positioners”) for them to sleep on. I’m renting the pump and buying the feeding stuff at the hospital when I get released. I know I will want to use the bottles and pacifiers they’ve had at the hospital.
With my daughter, I got everything I thought I might need before she was born and it was a huge waste of money. This time I’m going to wait and see what we want and what they like. This time around I know that I can still leave the house (or at least send my husband!) after they’re born!
Also, I saw a thing on Amazon that you can create a wish list of stuff from any website. I haven’t tried it but that might be helpful for all the miscellaneous stuff.
i asked a friend for some advice for you since her identical twin boys are about 7 months old. here is what she said:
congratulations and take a deep breath, everything will be fine. Good luck. I (angela, the mom) was really, really scared to have twins. My boys are the light of my life and I am SO happy being a mom. It is so much better than I could have ever imagined. It is also a little easier than I expected it to be, but like I said I was really picturing the worst.
Noah (the dad) said you need bouncy seats and a Costco membership.
1. Where is the best place to register? I registered at Babies R Us and Target, but I would register on Amazon.com if I had to do it again. There are some speciality things like a double nursing pillow that you can find on Amazon and not at babies r us.
2. With twins – do you really need two of everything? You absolutely don’t need 2 of everything. I found I needed 2: highchairs, cribs (not until later for both), bouncy seats (a must have), car seats, baby carriers (baby bjorn or ergo or something like that) and that is about it.
3. What are some things that stores/books/etc make you think that you most definitely need – but…you really don’t? 4 oz sized bottles, just go with the 8 oz ones and fill them half way. I really can’t think of anything, but Noah and I took the “minimalist approach” because we just don’t have the space. OH! a diaper bag. Go with a really big backpack and a portable diaper changing pad. It worked better for us.
4. What is the one item that you couldn’t have made it through the 6 months without having? Twin Breast Feeding Pillow!!! Swaddles. Boucy seats.
5. What is something you bought that you never ended up using? Nightgown sleepers.
I nannied and cared for twins for years…and highly recommend having at least two bouncy seats. If you live in a two story home, you’ll want at least one upstairs and one downstairs. When it come to feeding two babies, it’s easiest to have at least in the bouncy seat, if not both. Two cribs, later, once the twins are too big to sleep together (meaning they’re rolling into each other and kicking each other). Two high chairs & car seats of course. Invest in a good double stroller that’s easy to open and close (test them out)….no one wants to fidget with a stroller for minutes on end. Lots of onesies, burp clothes, socks, and such. Don’t have to have two of everything, they can share…they’re getting used to it now.
Twins are such a joy! They can feel like a lot of work the first few months, but as they get bigger, it’ll be a breeze. The wonderful this is that they always have a friend. I still deeply love the twins I nannied, and their in my upcoming wedding. Best of luck!
I’m pretty sure I make enough milk to feed a small army. I would have died without my Medela breast pump. Do not skimp on the breast pump if you plan to nurse!
I use a cheap little bouncy chair more often than my expensive swing, pack and play, and bouncer. It’s easy to move from room to room and I even throw it in the car and take it to friends houses. Although, he didn’t like it until he was about 3 months old.
I was lucky to have some friends help me register who had recently had a baby boy. I was so overwhelmed I pretty much just scanned whatever they told me to. That store (babysrus) is INSANE! Good luck!
I forgot about my babybjorn! I love that thing! I do alot of walking and it’s so good for babies to be close to you and helps you lose weight carrying them rather than pushing a stroller!
And regarding baby showers… I would have agreed completely with Libby. I HATED showers. I didn’t want to have one at all. And I dreaded it when my friends planned one anyway. I felt tacky inviting people to something just to get gifts. But I’ll tell you what, it’s pretty amazing to have all the people you love in one place and to have people pull together to help welcome a little one into the world. My shower made me realize how amazing and supportive people can be.
As someone who has friends to MANY a pregnant lady in the past two years, the best registry list has been amazon.com’s wish list. It’s great because I don’t have to look at multiple sites registries plus, for those of us who like to get good deals, I can look around in multiple places for the best price, which translates into more stuff for baby from me.
OOh, and my sister-in-law got the best chair from BabiesRUs. It is an easy chair with ottoman that rocks and swivels. it was a life saver for her in those first few weeks when her body just did not want to cooperate and then through the months after with nursing. And as a non-mom/awesome aunt, it is just a great chair over all for lounging.
You should definitely register for a keg of children’s Ibuprofen and children’s tylenol. Don’t get the infant tylenol – the dr.’s will only tell you that they prefer you to use the children’s med. I was up four times last night with our two year old and an ear infection. Ibuprofen allowed me to get at least a little sleep. Seriously though – unless you and Sarah are those organic, all natural, no meds kind of parents you WILL go through a lot of Ibuprofen and Tylenol. (And I’m convinced that those all natural mama’s also use pain meds for their kids, they just don’t tell anyone about it.)
I agree with Libby-I forbid my friends from having stupid games, especially ones that involved fake poop and measuring my stomach, at my showers. We had one co-ed shower that was nice-just food and hanging out with friends, a gift-card shower, a small lunch shower with school friends, etc. Having a few smaller ones was more pleasant than the 3 hour marathon shower with 50 of your parent’s closest co-workers and random friends…Had a friend who was given a shower at one of those places where you make meals in the store together, and take them home to freeze them. Everyone paid for the meal they made and gave it to my friend to stock her freezer. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want and need!
We covered our couch with sheets and blankets b/c of the high volume of spit up and vomit. And go ahead and embrace the fact that you’ll be out in public w/ another person’s bodily fluids on your clothes-and you won’t care, b/c who has time to change their clothes that many times? It’s just a little spit up. C’mon.
Nursing tanks at Target are great, and I agree with the comments about high quality products for pump, nursing pads, etc…
Don’t register for many clothes except basics (the white onesies, which are good alone or for layering), as the seasons change and it won’t be there in 3 months when people go to buy you stuff. Don’t buy/register for the cute clothes like jeans, things w/ buttons, etc. Impossible to get on, and babies are all scruntched up in a ball, so you can’t really see them anyway! I did like trumpette socks and the Target version of Roebe shoes-they were the only ones she couldn’t pull off!
I gave a shower for a friend who wanted an expensive recliner-I included a picture of it and the boutique store phone number in the shower invitation and asked people to give gift cards/cash towards that item. If your showers are hosted by family/close friends, it’s easier to ask them to do that for you (as opposed to the sweet old ladies at church who are going to do what they do for every baby shower they’ve hosted for the last 40 years, and then you just smile, eat your pimento cheese, and say thank you 🙂
Register for what you really want, and in a wide price range. Don’t be afraid to register for expensive stuff, b/c people will often go in together and split the cost. BRU worked for us. Target has extremely strict return policy.
When we went to register the wife and I took a long a friend who could show us the way around. She had done it before and was a pro. She walked us through what we would need and what we could pass on. My only advice – go at night not during the day. During the day, all the parents with their kids show up. At night it is all the pregnant Moms and expecting Dads. It is more subdued. It won’t kill your spirit.
And bring supplies. Maybe a flask for you.