We have an appointment with a perinatologist today. And to be honest, that scares me. When I think about going to meet with the perinatologist, I have images of couples seeing a perinatologist on TV or in the movies and receiving bad news. You know – that kind of really crappy bad news that changes your life.
We don’t have any reason to expect this type of news – but for some reason, I can’t get that image out of my mind. We’ll be discussing this pregnancy which ended at 19 weeks and 3 days, why Sarah’s water broke, what happened to Judah and Micah and get results from various tests on Sarah, her placenta and from the autopsies of the twins. And I assume we’ll be looking at moving forward – what happens now? Because of our loss, are we always going to be considered high-risk, even if we don’t get pregnant with twins again? Is it going to happen again?
A perinatologist, huh? Wikipedia says that a perinatologist is one who works as a “sub-specialtist to obstetrics and gynecology, mainly used for patients with high-risk pregnancies.” That wasn’t supposed to be us. High-risk pregnancy? Why? What does that have to be what we have to deal with?
I’m frustrated – but I also just want to get this appointment over with. I want to know what information they have – I want to know what our future looks like – I want answers.